So Buddy has found his new forever family and life is back to “normal”. He was only with me for 2 ½ weeks, but I cried (a lot) when I dropped him off with his new family. I knew it would be hard but I guess I didn’t realize how hard. In my mind it was only a little while and I knew he was never mine to keep. But at the end of day it didn’t make a bit of difference because it still hurt like a…well like giving up a puppy.
His new family is wonderful and actually live about 5 minutes from me, now that’s fate! They have another 8 month old Britt boy so the two of them will get to play and grow up together. The dad is retired and spends most of his days at home so there is very little alone time for the pups. I couldn’t have hoped for a better home for him.
And knowing that he’s in a wonderful home with a wonderful family and that I was doing the right thing didn’t help one little bit when he tried to follow me out the door and when he realized he wasn’t leaving with me he started to cry. Now just thinking about it is making me cry.
His family has sent me two updates, for the two days that he has been away, and for the most part he is doing well. It made me sad to hear that he cried for a bit even after I pulled out of the driveway and also when I found out he didn’t eat the next morning, which is huge for him because he eats everything in his path. But to hear that he spent the day playing with his new brother and that his new mom left work early on Monday to spend time with him makes me smile.
I thought that being a foster mom would be great and that the feeling happiness when finding the dog a forever feeling would override the sadness of letting them go, but after going through it and talking to other foster parents the answer is no, no it does not override that feeling when it first hits, but that in time when you hear about how the dog is truly becoming part of the family and if possible seeing how well their doing with the family later on then it becomes worth it. But the immediate feeling of loss does not become easier.
With hearing this I thought that maybe this isn’t my thing, that I’m just not tough enough to handle the loss. But then I received an email from the state coordinator (going out to all of the volunteers) stating that foster families are needed and that there are two states that are at full capacity (meaning the shelters are full and so are the foster families) so now they are willing to transport dogs all over the country just to get them into foster care. So, I have decided that I need to bite the bullet and not be so damn selfish. In fact I was a bit disappointed in myself for quitting so easily. The amount of sadness that I go through is nothing compared to leaving the dogs out there in shelters or worse being put down because there isn’t anywhere for them to go. So, though I am sad and know that it will suck each and every time I go through this, the benefits and joy for the dogs and forever families (and selfishly for me down the road) override the sadness. So, I will be taking in another foster dog after 05/19/07- odd date I know, but that is the first available time I have to devote enough time it and getting my grass fixed from after the winter.
Hope you all are doing well!
6 comments:
Ellie,
You are a hero. Really.
To open your heart to those that need you when you know that it's going to hurt you in the end...
Hugs to you.
I know it's always hard to give up the foster puppies. I don't think i could do it. But, you are a very selfless person to foster them like that.
I'm not sure I could let them go. I'm not at all good at letting go of things, or people, for that matter.
You are such a good soul. I'm sorry you had to let him go, but he was really lucky to have a foster Mom like you and now such a loving family. You did good girl.
It's so hard, but what you're doing is so important. I think this first time must be the hardest, and although it'll always be hard to turn them over to their new families, I think it will get a little easier. Your joy will come from the good families and the happy life you're creating for the puppy, in addition to the joy of having the puppy in your home for awhile. It's a beautiful thing.
You know that spot over your table in the dining room that you don't know what to do with? Maybe you should get a multi-picture frame that you can put each puppy's picture in. And every day you can see how marvelous what you are doing is. And that one more dog got a second chance because of you. I think it would be an excellent use of that space.
Post a Comment